Friday, December 18, 2009

Take Back the Silent Night

Yes! At last I have a really, truly excellent and irrefutable reason to hate Garrison Keillor, who I've always hated anyway, but now I can point to this confused, mean-spirited ("pinch-faced drone"?), illogical, rambling, defensive, and ultimately kind of pitiful column: "Nonbelievers, please leave Christmas alone."

6 comments:

  1. Intellectuals are stupid, Unitarians are Jesusy enough, Norwegians are assholes, and Jews suck at writing Christmas songs.

    Wow. Hello, Scrooge.

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  2. Oops- Unitarians *aren't* Jesusy enough.

    I mean: "If you don't believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn "Silent Night" and leave ours alone."

    Isn't that exactly what they did (and he just complained about)? DUUHH!

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  3. I know, can you imagine feeling proprietary about a damn Christmas carol? Ignoring the larger implications of thinking that songs shouldn't be adapted or changed (or the naivete of believing that that's even possible), are there any pieces of music more oppressive than carols? I don't think it's remotely possible to divorce "Silent Night" from its Christian context.

    Also, if you can actually use the phrase "don't mess with the Messiah" seriously, then why the hell are you in a Unitarian church in the first place? And Garrison, I'd be happy to celebrate my Yule if your Christian forebears hadn't put their damn messiah-birth holiday on the same day.

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  4. He says you can't improve on the day, but I think this crucifix-embedded CHRISTmas tree certainly does:

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/akdobbins/crucifix-christmas-tree

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  5. Oh, and Silent Night was originally in German, and more up-tempo. Don't mess with the classics!

    Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,
    Alles schläft; einsam wacht
    Nur das traute hochheilige Paar.
    Holder Knabe im lockigen Haar,
    Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh!
    Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh!

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  6. Indeed--I almost linked to the wikipedia entry for the song, but you could write a lengthy paper refuting every asinine thing in that column. Nonetheless, that crucifix-tree is totally AMAZING.

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